Yesterday my sister came into my room and asked me to turn my head a certain way so that she could take a picture of me. I have to admit, that I REALLY don't like to have my picture taken because I'm so big that it makes me feel embarrassed. Well, imagine my surprise when she handed me her phone and put two pictures on the screen. One of me from two years ago and the one that she'd just taken. I was shocked by the amount of weight I'd lost. Keep in mind that up until October, I was still at the same weight I'd been at two years ago: 509 lbs.

A few days before she showed me this picture before & after, she had managed to talk me into trying on a pair of pants that I hadn't been able to wear in almost three years...and they were too big! They kept falling off of me! And then she had me try on a top that was marked as a 3X and it fit! I admit, I did a total "Omg!" happy dance. I have worn nothing smaller than a 6X for about five years. It was quite an exciting discovery for me.

Back in October, I'd gotten a pair of specially-ordered shoes made for me because of my diabetes and the fact that my feet swell extremely large. I had not been able to wear them since the day I got them because of having gout so often that it was too painful to try and get them on. My sister had managed to help me get them on Wednesday, and we had to tighten them twice as the shoes forced excess fluid out of my feet. I was amazed and thrilled, it was the least swollen my feet had been in probably almost 8 years. Then on Thursday morning, I decided to try to get them on my feet by myself, and shock of all shocks, I succeeded! I was able to wear them for almost six hours before I had to take them off because my toes had started aching from being in the shoes for so long. Up until October, I had only been able to wear a pair of old, sole-less house slippers that are no support for my feet, I only wore them to protect my feet from cuts.

My dad, sister and mom are all so thrilled for me, and so am I. I feel like FINALLY all the trying has been worth it, I'm finally seeing results. It hasn't been easy, and I know I've probably treated my sister terribly at times, calling her a food nazi. But within the last three months I've really started to make smarter decisions as far as what and how much I eat. I've learned to keep my caloric intake close to if not under 1800 calories a day, and have learned that there are a lot of lower calorie foods that I really enjoy and don't feel like I'm denying myself! May I just say that if you're looking for some good quick low-cal foods that are tasty, I recommend Boca brand "Chick'n Patties", Skinny Cow ice cream and ice cream sandwiches, and Laughing Cow brand Light Cheese wedges in French Onion, Original Swiss, and Garlic and Herb.

Losing this much weight-I'll find out for sure how much on the 16th when I go to the doctor-has really boosted my self-confidence. I actually want to go and visit friends and family. I want to go to the doctor and find out how much I've lost. I want to be able to help do the grocery shopping and go shopping for clothes. Shoes will have to wait until I can fit into regular sized shoes, but hopefully that will happen soon too!

Just heard (on facebook status update) from my cousin and her partner. They drove to DC yesterday and are now officially married! Congratulations to them, I hope they are very happy together!

So hard to believe two months has gone by already since Uncle Paul's passing. Things seem to be doing a little better for now, though. Mom and some of her family are planning a trip in May to take his ashes back to West Virginia and put them in the cemetary where their parents and older sister are buried.

My sister's boyfriend is going to be coming to visit in May, we're all looking forward to that, we've missed him. He's a really funny and terrific guy, he makes us all laugh. I know he's missed her and Rae tons, just like she's missed him. He shaved his beard/mustache off and cut his long (beautiful!!! God I loved his hair, wish mine was that color!) red hair. She showed us a pic of  him she took when she'd gone to visit him, it totally didn't look like him at first. I felt bad, Jeana said that Rae didn't recognize him at first, and I think that probably hurt his feelings a bit.

Rae's getting so big now, we all just get the biggest kick out of her sometimes, she's a little ham! Yesterday Jeana had her giggling and blowing raspberries, and "Pawpaw" was teasing her going "Shhh, you're being too loud." When he'd said that for about the third time, Rae looked over at him smiled and went, "Thbbbbt!" We all cracked up, it was one of those Funniest Home Video moments you wish you'd caught but didn't have a camera at the time.

As for me, I'm finally starting to feel better after yet another attack of gout. Thank heavens this one's finally starting to "fade". As of yesterday, I'm finally able to get up and walk without crutches (I use them to keep as much pressure as possible off my foot when I have gout, trying to keep from doing more damage to my already poor abused feet as possible.) and today my foot's finally not throbbing nearly as bad, which is why you all get the treat of me posting.

I've been feeling kinda weird lately, I'm wanting to try out new recipes and stuff, I've even been wanting to try baking bread from scratch. I have never done this before, but I'd like to try it, I've always loved the smell of bread baking. I know that my mom used to bake bread a lot when we were younger, so I'm wondering if she'd be willing to teach me more about it. My mother's an absolutely amazing cook, (hopefully I've inherited that! I do love to cook for family and friends, and they all tell me I'm pretty good-Yay!) and used to work as a caterer, so I know she has all kinds of tricks and tips she's learned over the years. She taught me to make sausage gravy and biscuits years ago, and while my sausage gravy is nearly as good as hers, I can never get my biscuits to come out nearly as well. *lol* Maybe I'll just have to cheat and buy a really good brand of 'Southern Style' biscuits that are ready for baking or something. I've also been wanting to try my hand at baking other things, i think mainly because I've never really done much baking and lately all I've seen are recipes for baking cakes, tarts, cupcakes, breads, rolls, etc. I do need to stock up on baking supplies for sure before I do any of that though, I don't have any proper bakeware for making anything. I'm going to see if I can find any good recipes for a honey wheat bread and for lower-sugar or replaced-sugar baking methods. I do try and keep sugar out of my diet as much as possible.

I've also been thinking I want to start doing beadwork again. I haven't done beadwork in years and I always enjoyed it. It was one of those things I could do fairly mindlessly or do something elaborate depending on my mood. If I do decide to put some money into beads and other beadwork supplies, I'm going to try to post pictures on here and on my facebook page for anyone who's interested...

And we've come to a close for today. Hope you are all having a very blessed weekend, and now that I've caught you all up on my boring life I will say Farewell!

Well, on top of all the stuff going on with my Uncle Paul slowly dying, and my sister and niece moving to North Dakota, now we all have some kind of damn stomach flu that's been going around. *sigh* Some days I'm just so tired of feeling like the world is piling load after load of bad crap on my shoulders that I just want to cry. And then that just makes me feel like I'm weak. Maybe I am, I just don't know anymore...